Diaries
by Millzy
Summary: Meredith and Derek’s children read over the diaries Meredith kept throughout her life. Merder. Involves characters death but hopefully not too sad. Read and Review!


**I'm bored so I'm going to write a new one. Others should be updated by the end of next week. **

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Greys Anatomy and probably never will.

**Summary: **Meredith and Derek's children read over the diaries Meredith kept throughout her life. MerDer implied. Involves characters death but hopefully not too sad.

**Chapter 1**

Dr. Steven Shepherd woke with a start as he heard the phone ring. His wife struggled to find the light switch then picked up the phone. He rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock it read 3:45am; who would be ringing them at this hour? His eyes turned to his wife who was looking at him with sad eyes.

"It's for you…" She said quietly handing him the phone.

He took the phone confused as to why she looked sad he raised it to his ear. "Steven Shepherd," He answered quietly.

"_Steven, it's Bryan." _

Steven shook his head and smiled; it would be just like Bryan to ring at this hour… Brian Karev was one of his closest childhood friends. "Bryan, what the hell are you calling me for this early?"

_Bryan sighed. "Steven, it's your Mom; she's in hospital."_

Steven sat up straight in bed. "What's wrong?" He asked quickly.

"_She's…" Bryan paused. "She's had another heart attack."_

Steven sighed sadly. "How's she doing?"

"_I'm sorry Steven… but I don't think she can recover this time."_

Tears formed in Steven's eyes as he absorbed the news. His wife grabbed his hand and squeezed it. Steven took a deep breath. "How long does she have?"

"_We managed to revive her but we think she only has a matter of days…a week at the most."_

Steven had tears running down his cheeks. "Where's my Dad?"

"_He's where he always is; by her side."_

Steven smiled; he knew his Dad wouldn't leave her side. "Tell him I'll be in soon."

"_Would you like me to ring the others?" _

Steven took a deep breath. "No, I will…"

"_Ok… I have to go now Steven… if you need anything I'm here."_

"Thanks… talk later." Steven said hanging up. He turned to his wife who also had tears in her eyes. "I've got to ring the others…" he said slowly getting out of bed. He walked to the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror. He was 45 now and aging, His once jet black hair was now speckled with grey and his skin which used to be smooth now had faint wrinkles. He wondered how his identical twin brother looked now. He splashed some water on his face and sighed. His Mom was dying; the Mom who used to kiss his 'owies' better when he was a child… and his father; the father who always loved his mother the father who took him to his baseball games as a child. He couldn't imagine the pain his father must be going through; Meredith meant everything to his father.

"Daddy," A small voice from the door said.

Steven looked around and saw his 16 year old daughter Katie looking concerned. "What's wrong Katie?"

Katie walked over and gave him a hug. "Why are you crying?"

"I'll tell you in the morning… you should go back to bed and get some more sleep," Steven said softly.

"Why are you up?" Katie asked not listening to him.

"I've got to use the phone, and I'll tell you why in the morning…" Steven said fighting back tears.

Katie just stared at him.

"Please Katie," Steven said knowing how stubborn his child was.

Katie looked at him sympathetically. "Ok…" She turned around and walked back to her room.

Steven looked at himself again and decided it was time to ring his siblings. He walked down the hallway quietly not want to wake either of his 2 children. He stopped when he got to his 14 year old son's room and carefully opened the door and peered in squinting to see if he could spot the phone… His son had recently acquired a girlfriend so it was safe betting the phone was in his room. His son stirred and he froze.

"Dad?" His son asked groggily.

"Go back to sleep Harley, I'm looking for the phone," Steven said softly.

"It's next to my computer…" Harley said pointing to his computer. He promptly put his head under the pillow to go back to sleep.

Steven grabbed the phone and left his son's room. He crept downstairs to the lounge where he sat on the couch with a piece of paper in his hand and dialled a number on the phone.

He cleared his voice as it rang.

"_Hello." _

"Saki, it's Steven…" Steven said quietly.

----------

Dr Isaac Shepherd was sitting at the lunch table when he felt a sudden surge of sadness travel through his body. Isaac immediately thought about his twin brother Steven who Isaac often shared feelings with. He shook the feeling off and continued talking to his family. Isaac had 3 beautiful children; Freddie, 17; Eli, 14 and Clare, 10. With his wife they'd moved to Ireland when Freddie was 18months and had raised their family there ever since. Their conversation about Isaac's childhood and where the nickname Saki came from was interrupted by a telephone call. Freddie went to answer it but Isaac stopped him.

"I'll answer it; it's your Uncle," Isaac said getting up and grabbing the phone. "Hello." Isaac answered.

"_Saki, it's Steven…"_

"What's happened Stevie?" Isaac asked knowing something was wrong.

"_Saki… it's Mom; she's had another heart attack."_

Isaac left the room because he didn't want his family to get upset. "Could they…" he paused shaking. "Is she ok?"

Isaac heard his brother sniff in the background.

"_They revived her but…" _

"They don't think she'll make it though this time," Isaac said finishing his sentence.

"_Yeah… they've given her a week at the most."_

Isaac walked up to his bedroom and sat on the bed with tears running down his cheeks. "Have you spoken to Dad?"

"_I'm going in to sit with him soon and to make sure he's remembered to take his medication."_

Isaac smiled weakly, he thought it was sweet how his father never left his mothers side. "Do the others know?"

"_I thought I should tell you first."_

"Thankyou Stevie… I'm going to book the flights this morning and I'll ring the others" Isaac said sadly.

"_I'll see you soon Saki…" _

Steven hung up. Isaac let the tears roll down his cheeks for a minute thinking about how sad his father will be right now. He decided he needed to tell his family right now. Isaac walked back down to the kitchen where his family were sitting and laughing. They stopped when they saw Isaac was crying. His daughter frowned.

"What's wrong Daddy?" Clare asked concerned.

Isaac stood at the doorway wiping his tears. "Start packing; it's Grandma."

He turned around to go back up the stairs. He needed to make a phone call. He sat on his bed and stared out the window at the morning mist. He reached into his bedside draw and pulled out his phone book. He found the number he was looking for and dialled the number.

He put the phone to his ear and waited for someone to pick up.

"_Yeah hello?" _

"Nicole, it's Isaac I've got some bad news…"

----------

"Perry! Don't say that in front of the kids!" 40 year old Nicole Shepherd – Cane said loudly as she dragged her husband outside.

"What? I just told Sheldon how I met you!" Perry said smiling.

Nicole sighed. "You don't tell an 8 year old about the time you carried a random woman home because she'd had far too much tequila."

Perry grinned. "You've got pretty hair," He said running his fingers through her blonde hair.

"Shut up!" Nicole said pulling away.

"Mommy the phones ringing!" A little boy with freckles and blonde hair ran out.

"Ok, Sheldon honey I'm coming," Nicole said running inside. She ran up the steps to her house where the little boy was pointing to the phone. She got to the phone and picked it up fast. "Yeah, hello?"

"_Nicole, it's Isaac I've got some bad news…" _

Nicole grabbed the nearest chair and took a seat. "What is it Saki?"

"_It's Mommy…" _

Nicole was concerned; it had been awhile since Isaac; her 45 year old brother had called Meredith Mommy. "Has she had another heart attack?"

"_Yeah… but it's really serious this time…"_

"Will she be alright?" Nicole asked wiping her eyes.

Nicole heard Isaac inhale deeply.

"_She's not going to make it this time… they've given her a week at the most…"_

Perry was standing in the doorway holding Luke's hand. Nicole looked up at them with tears in her eyes. "Have you spoken to Daddy?"

"_No I haven't… Stevie is going into see him now."_

"I'll go out and get flights when Melanie has woken up… Jeez, Daddy must be…" Nicole was lost for words; she probably couldn't comprehend the pain her father who loved her mother so much was feeling.

"_I know Nicole…Anyway; I've got to get tickets to Seattle."_

"Ok… I'll call James… bye Saki," Nicole said hanging up. She turned to look at Perry and Sheldon. "We're going to Seattle… book flights from New York"

Nicole got up from her seat and couldn't talk she walked down to her 3year old Melanie's room and looked at the sleeping child; she would barely remember her Grandma. She continued down to the master bedroom and grabbed the phone and dialled the number of her little brother.

"_Dr James…" _

"James; it's Nicole," Nicole said cutting him off. Her little brother would be the hardest to tell as he was the only one who could comprehend the hurt her father was going through… 3 months ago James lost his wife and 1 of his 3 children.

----------

Dr James Shepherd, 37 years old sat in his chair at 4:30am sitting watching TV with a glass of scotch in his hand. He wasn't really a scotch person but he needed something to help him sleep though he hadn't taken a sip. Although any chances of him sleeping were hindered by the sound of the phone. He quickly answered. "Dr… James…"

"_James; it's Nicole."_

"Why are you calling me this early?" James asked in a monotone.

"_You need to get flights from San Diego to Seattle… Mom had another heart attack."_

"She had one last month she'll be fine Nicole," James said running his hand through his sandy blonde hair.

"_No James; Mom is dying this time."_

James didn't reply he just sat there expressionless.

"_James?"_

"I'll be there Nicky," James said hanging up. The tears ran down his face; this was the third time he'd lost someone he loved in the last 3 months. First his wife Erin died in a car accident and then his daughter Hannah died because of her injuries. Now it was his Mommy, the woman who spoiled him throughout his childhood, the woman who told him every single day he was the most special however old boy on the planet. He stood up and looked at the scotch he decided that drinking that wouldn't solve his problems, right now it was his Dad who was in need. He walked to his children's rooms and carefully woke them.

His 9 year old son Derek squinted at him and saw his Dad's tears. "What's wrong Dad?"

James smiled weakly. "We're going up to Seattle for awhile can you get yourself dressed and pack a few clothes?"

Derek nodded as he got out of bed; James rubbed his back for a minute before leaving the room to wake his 5 year old daughter up.

He walked over to her bed taking a quick glance at the empty bunk that had previously slept in by her sister. "Alyssa, we're going to Seattle, I'll pack a bag for you but can you get yourself dressed?"

Alyssa nodded confused as to why she had to get up so early. Her blonde hair exactly like her grandmothers used to be was still tied up in a plait from the day before. James smiled sadly as she was so much like her grandmother whom she loved so much.

----------

Derek Shepherd, 83 sat next to his wife who was sleeping. She'd been kept awake for awhile so she could be told the prognosis. It wasn't good; she was going to die as her heart was weakening every hour that passed. Derek slowly held her hand as tears streamed down his face. He sadly started to think about the time he had met Meredith at a bar called Joes… Bars weren't like that anymore. He looked back down at his wife who in his eyes was too young to die (76) but he knew in his heart that she was going to a better place and he was sure that pretty soon he'd meet her there.

"I chose you, I loved you, I picked you; I will love you forever Meredith."

**Ok, so that's basically just a rundown of the characters and what's happening. It will be more MerDer in the next few chapters when their children find Meredith's old diaries that will be set around now. Please read and review xoxoxo**


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